A camel is a horse designed by a committee. An elephant is a mouse designed to government specifications. I could go on, but I think you catch my drift.

Could the government have created a more complex total clustersnafu than the Affordable Healthcare Act?

Firstly I’d like to know to whom is it necessarily affordable, and what deterrent is there in levying a fine of $95 against someone who won’t pay $500 a month for health care?

I really don’t care, and it matters neither a pish nor a tosh which party is responsible, because I am truly of the very firm belief that it is a prerequisite to actually run for government that you have to pass a test prior to moving to Washington to ensure you have the fundamentals of Complication 101 and Make It User-Unfriendly 101/102.

I hate to harp on it, but when Australia introduced its version of the Act back in 1975 there was a momentary general grump heard around the country for about 3 minutes. Basically, it was paid for by an increase of, if memory serves, 3 percent of your salary as a tax, and Bob immediately became your Uncle and you were covered for medical insurance.

There was none of this faffing about with different states requiring different handling – I ask you, is a hangnail any different in Georgia than it is in Alaska; does a boil on the bottom require specialized handling in California; is a pregnancy in Michigan inherently more tricky than one in Florida?

In Australia there was no dickering around with eligibility requirements – if you got a paycheck, you paid, and if you didn’t get a paycheck, you didn’t. It didn’t matter if you worked 20 hours a week or 60. All swings and roundabouts, it all came out in the wash and every Australian was covered. Now I realize the U.S. population is considerably larger, but come on kids, so is the government which would like you to believe it “is here to help you.”

Yes, right. And I will still respect you in the morning. And the check’s in the mail.

If the Affordable Health Care Act is running without a hitch before the next election, I will be so hugely surprised I may have to change my name to Annie Well I’ll Be.

In the words of the wise Abraham Lincoln: “You can please some of the people some of the time…” and all that.

Guys you’re never going to please everyone, so grow a spine and stop namby pambying about worrying if you’re going to upset one group while truly offending another. You’re doing that anyway, so let’s make a firm decision, stick to it, get it rolling and let’s move on.

You’re in government – that’s what we pay you for.

Annie Dear lives in Lee’s Summit. Email her at anniedearkc@hotmail.com.