As a clergyman, I am always sensitive to the pastoral needs of my flock. As a priest in New England, I realize that many in my congregation are grieving the Patriots loss to the Broncos in the AFC Championship Game. Yet as a Baltimore Ravens fan, I don’t really care about their feelings when it comes to football. So I’m torn in my pastoral duties. Since next week is the Annual Meeting and it’s best to keep the peace, I’ll err on the side of pastoral concern.
In times such as these, many are left wondering why? Why did my team lose? Why did God do this to the Patriots? Is God mad at me? To ease some of the confusion, I thought I’d share some light on why the Patriots lost to the Broncos. Understanding why is an intellectual response and so Patriots fans will still need time to grieve. I’m sensitive to that and I will walk with them during this painful time.
Here are the reasons the Patriots lost:
God’s wrath for cutting Tim Tebow after the preseason. (Of course he was also cut by the Broncos when they signed Peyton Manning but whatever. God’s complicated).
God prefers Anglicans (aka Redcoats) to Patriots (aka religious dissenters).
The continuing Wrath of the Cathedral Nautilus. This doesn’t explain the World Champion Red Sox but that was a beard thing.
Punishment for the globalization of Sam Adams Beer.
Many patriots in the revolutionary age were Deists.
God’s anger at Patriots coach Bill Belichick who lives in Hingham and yet has never darkened the door of St. John’s.
The presence on the Patriots’ roster of linebacker Dont’a Hightower (of Babel).
Retribution for tossing all that tea into Boston Harbor.