And the lesson today, dear brethren, comes from Proverbs Chapter 16, verse 27.

"Idle hands are the devil’s workshop; idle lips are his mouthpiece."

So in keeping with this admonishment, I would like to bring to your attention a truly idle person having way too much time on her hands – in my opinion only, of course. You may, naturally, disagree with me, and it is in the spirit of Freedom of Speech that I shall sally forth, and damn the torpedoes.

I heard it said the other day that a woman is going to re-write the American Constitution in gender-neutral terms. At what point did this woman, and obviously many like her who are insisting on ‘graying-out’ our wonderful language, decide she felt so threatened by anything remotely to do with the male of the species?

Oh, I can name loads of reasons why one might be afraid of members of either sex – oh, am I allowed to say that? I’m dreadfully sorry – either gender. Lizzie Borden springs to mind, having given her mother the alleged forty whacks. Jack the Ripper is another obvious choice. Killers and abusers come in all shapes, sizes and colors, so there is no “one size fits all” for these categories – and neither am I in any way shape or form belittling the horror that most certainly some people may feel. (Note to self – I am really heartily sick of apologizing in case I upset someone, I’m not going to do it anymore: reference the torpedoes above).

I can see into the future. Electricians will wander into their local hardware store and ask for plug adaptors. No longer will he/she/it be able to say the part required is the male, or indeed the female part, because – well quite frankly, ladies and gentlemen – oh I’m sorry – people – it could lead to – well who knows what? Mass orgies in Aisle 9, no doubt. One would have to refer to the part in question in a whisper: “well, it’s the outie one, not the innie, if you see what I mean, wink, wink, nudge, nudge.”

I saw a wonderful post on Facebook the other day. It sported a magnificent shot of a shirtless actor who is appearing in a wonderful series, and he is truly beautiful. Naturally there were a lot of comments along the line of “oh my,” and “pant, pant,” and wouldn’t you know it, some actually saying “poor him, he is being objectivized just as women used to be and how degrading for him.” Oh naff off girls – he’s an actor, he’s into fitness, and he is fully cognizant of the fact women will drool. I don’t see him taking himself to the fainting couch any time soon, being overcome by a fit of the vapors.

You see, my dears, prudery and political correctness will be proven to be terminally boring. If left unchecked they will lead to the end of the human race, as neither sex will have the nerve to look sideways at the other for fear of court action, and these gender neutralizers will be left holding the non-existing baby.

-- Annie Dear lives in Lee’s Summit. Email her at anniedearkc@hotmail.com.