Well, it is swimsuit weather.
You wouldn’t know it, as Hobby Lobby is putting out their fall and winter decorations.
No matter, I have been shopping for swimsuits for both Kelsey and me.
Somehow, I just don’t look like the mannequins do, in their swimsuits.
Erma Bombeck said, “People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.”
Anyway, I have already purchased 32 tankinis at multiple stores, brought them home, tried them on, and taken them back to the same stores.
Afterwards, I ordered eight tankinis from Amazon and yes, they have also been returned.
I really need a suit that has somewhat of a high (maybe, turtle) neck, goes to my knees, and gives that flowing, graceful, slim appearance.
There just aren’t any out there.
You know with most activities, you can flex on what you wear. For example, when attending a movie, you can wear Capri pants or a skirt.
Or, if you have a work or retirement party to go to, you have the same choices.
But when it comes to swimming, you really look out of place with a jacket, pants, or long-sleeved shirt.
Shoot, why, as I get older, must swimsuits be such a drudge?
Well, Kelsey needed a swimsuit too. From what I could figure, she wears about a size 14.
However, trying bathing suits on in the store is very difficult with a walker or wheelchair. It is easier to take the suit home, which we have done.
Two of my favorite stores to shop for bathing suits are Ross and Kohl’s. You never know what you will find.
Well, I located three bathing suits in Kelsey’s size. She was excited.
But when we tried them on, at home, none of them fit.
On the one suit, she needed a size 12, and the other two suits, she needed size 16.
So I called the stores to see if they had the other sizes.
Unfortunately, I pulled into Chick-fil-A at the same time the swimsuit store attendant, Ella, answered the phone.
Well, Chick-Fil-A was working on extra friendliness and as a result, their employees were outside, waiting to take your order. This made my task of ordering grilled nuggets and Kelsey’s size 12 and 16 suits a little more difficult.
Jordan was the outside Chick-fil-A attendant. Ella was the swimsuit attendant.
Jordan asked me what I’d like to order.
Ella asked me what size swimsuit we needed.
I responded to Ella, “I need a 16W.”
Chick-fil-A Jordan responded with, “Mam, we don’t have a 16 grilled chicken nugget.”
I looked at Jordan and whispered, “I need an eight-piece.”
Swimsuit attendant Ella, responded with, “We don’t have a size 8 swimsuit in that style.”
I quickly responded back to Ella, that we were looking for a size 16W.
Jordan heard me and stated, “You want a double, too? What kind of double do you want?”
Jordon, “I don’t want a double, too. I want an eight-piece nugget, and courtesy water.”
Ella responded, “No, ma’am, we do not have a size 8 but you can wear our swimsuits in the water.”
Oh my, what a mess!
Well, I did end up with an eight-piece nugget and cup of water from Jordan.
However, Kelsey’s swimsuit is still a little sketchy.
Diane Mack is coordinator of Putting Families First, Jackson County’s Family Week Foundation. Email her at email@example.com or visit www.jacksoncountyfamilyweek.org.