In an effort to elevate the sense of humor department in every corner of our lives, as life does indeed become far too serious and earnest all by itself without needing added input from us, I thought I would bring to your esteemed attention a couple of business names my niece and brother alerted me to the other day.
Both businesses are in Sydney, and they just tickled my funny bone, so, naturally, I had to tickle yours.
From the purveyor of flowers came the name “Run Florist Run,” and from the dog groomers, “The Fairy Dogmother.”
This naturally made me fly to the computer to see what else I could find – and I found a lot, let me tell you. With profuse apologies to my dear editor whose spellchecker will soon be shooting off fireworks, I shall continue.
Restaurants and food sellers came up with some beauts: Frying Nemo; The Codfather; May the Fish be With You; A Salt and Battery were just some award-winning entries in the fish-and-chips division. For the general food category, how about Mustard’s Last Stand; Award Wieners; Lettuce Eat; Lord of the Wings, and Thai Tanic?
There were a couple that either missed the mark or were totally unintentional. For the former, I nominate “Cabbage & Condoms,” a Thai eatery where surely there must have been something lost in translation, and for the mom-and-pop inn, I would like to put it to you that “Barf Bed & Breakfast” was just a tiny bit unfortunate. I’m sure Sherrill’s convenience store and gas station didn’t mean this next one: “Sherrill’s Eat Here & Get Gas,” but it’s up there in neon.
The second busiest category I found was dog grooming and minding. Here we find Indiana Bones – Temple of Groom; Hairy Pop-Ins and Sherlock Combs, and we mustn’t forget of course my personal find back in California – the Venus de Fido.
Hair salons burst forth with British Hairways; Curl Up and Dye (a tad ill-fated I would’ve thought), and Hairforce One. A couple for dump truck and backhoe services took my fancy with Me & My Old Hoe, and Humpty Dumpster making me giggle; as did a liquor store sporting the name Planet of the Grapes, and a moving van company entitled Jean-Claude Van Man. I too was rather fond of a couple of lawn care and landscaping outfits – Lawn Order (“where we lay down the lawn”) and Tree Wise Men.
The tattoo removalist surely came up with a winner when naming the shop What Were You Inking; the bait shop owner had tongue firmly planted in cheek with Master Bait & Tackle, and Surelock Homes won my first prize for security companies.
I’m positive these next few for law firms are not ridgy-didge, as we would say in Oz – they can’t possibly be true, but wouldn’t it be wonderful if they were? Ditcher, Quick & Hyde; Dewey Cheatem & Howe, and my personal favorite Legal, Eagle, Beagle & Briefcase.
So there you have it, dear reader. I hope I caused you a small titter or two over your Children of the Corn Flakes.
Annie Dear lives in Lee’s Summit. Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.