THREE RIVERS, Michigan – When my wife Emily and I were married two years ago, we were definitely not the stars of the show. When our friends remember our wedding, they think of Betty Jean Seal.
Betty Jean, in the kitchen, pouring punch. Betty Jean, introducing herself to every guest and surreptitiously making a note of their names. Betty Jean, the 79-year-old bridesmaid who beamed with every graceful step down the aisle.
Betty Jean was my wife's grandmother and best friend. Once a week, I would hear Emily call out “Hellooo Beauty!” as she rang for their regular phone chats. At Christmas and other vacations, we would return to Michigan and Emily and Betty Jean would talk for hours, giggling, showing pictures, twirling around in new clothes and watching Oprah.
But Betty Jean was my buddy too. She embraced me into the family without hesitation. Knowing I liked big breakfasts, she would rise at 5 or 6 in the morning, filling the house with the aroma of sizzling bacon and fried eggs. She would tell me to get out my guitar and play old Baptist hymns for her. When friends of hers would come around, she would show off Emily and me, singing praises we didn't deserve.
Betty Jean passed away this week, surrounded by family, following a four-month battle with lung cancer. A lover of life and people, the final journey was not an easy one for Betty Jean, but she handled it with humor, deep-rooted faith and an enduring care for those who surrounded her.
Over the last two months, Emily and I have been living with Betty Jean, accompanying her and helping to care for her. While challenging at times, it has been an incredibly moving experience. I have had the chance to observe up-close how much she meant to her community, church and family.
Betty Jean could make friends with everyone. She grew up in the segregated South and in a very traditional faith. But she loved people too much to be constrained by any notional divisions of the human family. It was as if she could not help but to burst out from such human-made conflicts and hold each person she met in her arms – welcoming them as a child of God.
In the days leading up to her death, she was showered with cards, gifts, flowers and visits from all kinds of people. The woman who took drive-in orders at McDonalds, the bank teller, a Congolese refugee, the neighbors, nurses at the oncology department – people of different colors, professions, lifestyles and faiths – all testified to the amazing way Betty Jean had made them feel special and loved.
Betty Jean was an incredible woman, a true Christian, proof that you do not need fancy degrees or a fat wallet to make a real difference in people's lives. The world will not be the same without Betty Jean. But she lives on in the lives of the people she touched; for an encounter with Betty Jean made you a better person, a more loving and giving person. She gave you a glimpse of unconditional love.
Three Rivers, Michigan —
