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Examiner
  • Annie Dear: Glitter be done; I've work to do

  • There is a lot to be said about getting new toys. They’re always fun to open, you have a minute of oohing and aahing at the shiny new object in front of you, you marvel at the fact you retrieved it from its hard plastic shell packaging, requiring only two trips to the emergency room this time, and you can’t wait to play with all the bits.

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  • There is a lot to be said about getting new toys. They’re always fun to open, you have a minute of oohing and aahing at the shiny new object in front of you, you marvel at the fact you retrieved it from its hard plastic shell packaging, requiring only two trips to the emergency room this time, and you can’t wait to play with all the bits.
    This may well be true if we’re talking about Lego, a Barbie Doll, or a set of screw drivers. This however is not the case when it comes to a new computer or its peripheral bits of hardware, unless of course it’s your first computer, in which case I offer my congratulations at your new found joy.
    If however, you are starting up a new computer, having become smugly inured with your old, now gone, computer, it takes on a whole new hue – mine being an unattractive version of bilge green as we speak.
    Neither does it help that your unbelievably bright and tech-savvy son-in-law has fled these shores for the Land Down Under, offering therefore not a modicum of help or head patting tut-tutting, there-there now platitudes as he rights the wrongs you have so far inflicted on the new device.
    Just managing to turn the thing on, you are then faced with an unfamiliar screen, with no hint at all about what your old computer contained – missing files, passwords, programs – all lie in wait for you somewhere, but it is up to you to re-create it all.
    While your new computer, bright and shiny and virginal, awaits your command, you realize it’s not quite the freshest daisy around when you come to turn it off each time. New, I guess, is a relative term – relative to the number of Microsoft updates which have occurred out there in the ether somewhere between the computer’s birth and this particular time.
    I think at last count I have had approximately 4,209,098 updates, each block arriving with a stern warning not to turn off my computer while it grinds its way through the process. And then, when you get to turn your computer back on the next day, again exhorting you not to turn it off (and thus throw it, Frisbee-like, out the nearest window), it grinds its way through an obviously complex series of events until finally, it allows you to play with the new toy and get it back up to scratch.
    That of course is fine and dandy, until you come to the peripheral hardware which just doesn’t seem to want to fit in any given hole at any given time, until finally, with the last gasp effort on your part – as one stranded on a desert island clawing his way to the last drop of fresh water – everything finally falls into place and bless me, it all works just fine.
    Page 2 of 2 - Can you tell patience is not my strongest virtue? But now bowed, but not beaten, all is again right with the world.
    Annie Dear lives in the Lakewood area of Lee’s Summit. Email her at anniedearkc @hotmail.com.
     
     
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