As another holiday season comes to an end, I would like to offer a retrospective wish list.
To the editor:
As another holiday season comes to an end, I would like to offer a retrospective wish list. I wish that:
1) People would show similar enthusiasm in taking down their Christmas decorations as they do in putting them up.
2) The playing of Christmas music would be limited to Thanksgiving to Christmas – not Halloween to New Year’s Day.
3) The phrase “the best Christmas ever” would cease to exist. I am not sure how anyone plans to improve upon the first one.
4) People would feel similarly charitable throughout the year as they do, out of obligation, during the Christmas season.
5) Acts of charity would be performed for the sole purpose of helping those in need and not to draw attention to the donor and not to improve ratings of radio and television programs.
6) Parents would cease with the wrongdoing of lying to their children about Santa Claus but expecting them to believe everything else they tell them.
7) TV meteorologists would realize it is no longer novel, cute or humorous to track Santa Claus across the U.S. on Christmas Eve.
8) Those feeling compelled to send Christmas cards would tell their intended recipients, in addition to how wonderful their lives have been during the past year, that their house found its way into foreclosure, their dog died, and that their “perfect” children received less-than-admirable academic assessments.
9) Daddy would catch Mommy kissing Santa Claus, file for divorce and terminate the relationship; that the reindeer that ran over Grandma would do so to the extent of permanently ending the decades-long saga; and that the young lady in want of receiving a hippopotamus for Christmas would be granted the opportunity to be burdened with the responsibility of maintaining the oversized pachyderm, realize her mistaken notion of grandeur, and subsequently remain quiet about the same.
10) This post-Christmas wish list does not bear repeating next season.