You’ve probably heard that eating too many sweets will lead directly to obesity, which could kill you. The same goes for salty foods, although the endgame in that case is hypertension, which could kill you.

You’ve probably heard that eating too many sweets will lead directly to obesity, which could kill you. The same goes for salty foods, although the endgame in that case is hypertension, which could kill you. Red wine can help your heart, but too much can lead to alcoholism, which could kill you. Did you also know eggs, sunbathing, cell phones, peppers, swimming, high-fructose beverages, running, not flossing, a stray asteroid, fireworks, a weather event short of a clear and sunny day, and virtually any activity short of blinking could, well, kill you.

Each day we’re bombarded with breaking news stories, desert dry medical journals and countless other bits of information about the latest threats to our oh-so-fragile lives. After thinking about these and other impending threats, logic says we should revert to our 1950s nuclear attack training. That’s right, we should all crouch under our tiny wooden desks, cover the backs of our necks with our hands, close our eyes and wait for the curtain to drop on life as we know it.

Thank goodness we have more sense than that. Thank goodness we’d rather be alive, even if that life is inexcusably unhealthy, full of foolish risks, and teetering on the edge of insanity.

Has anyone ever really tried to live the type of life that would avoid all possible pitfalls? That’s right, the type of life in which you always eat right, don’t drink 40-proof liquor, exercise daily, avoid perils such as flying, follow every order from the family doctor, and generally be a goody two-shoes? Essentially you’d wake up, look at the ceiling and wait for nightfall.

Good times. You’re cringing just thinking about such nonsense.

As the song says, “Don’t worry, be happy.”

Yours truly could avoid eating one-half of a super-stuffed Dutch apple pie at a single sitting and instead settle for a tasty rice cake, but then you’d be reading a series of bitter columns about food. Likewise, you could skip that trip to the casinos, put money away for your future, and avoid the stress of living paycheck-to-payday loan-to-paycheck, but that’s not exciting. And what would life be like without the occasional bit of drunkenness or that rich dark tan that takes you to the brink of skin cancer? Heck, you wouldn’t be here if your folks didn’t risk heart problems and engage in some intimate, sweaty adult situations (Kids: Save this one until you’re 30.).

A good life is unhealthy, risky, creative and, occasionally, foolish. This isn’t a manifesto about stupidly tossing your life away and ignoring good sense. However, you only live once.

You can’t make a corpse smile.