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Examiner
  • Annie Dear: Technology should come with an I.T. guy built in

  • The computer really is a thing of beauty and a joy forever, but like electricity, it is a wonderful thing when it works as you expect it to. You don’t want to know why or how it works, just that it does.

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  • The computer really is a thing of beauty and a joy forever, but like electricity, it is a wonderful thing when it works as you expect it to. You don’t want to know why or how it works, just that it does.
    In these hazardous times where every part of your persona is under constant threat, it is nice to know there are programs out there which can at least protect your computer, and thus a large portion of your life.
    So imagine me, me who was at the end very of the line when patience was being meted out by the Almighty, trying to renew my virus protection program.
    Logging onto the website, I was informed that my automatic renewal couldn’t happen due to the fact that  the credit card had expired. Not a problem, thought I. Oh yeah? Really. Let me know how that went for you, Annie old buddy old pal.
    Updating the information, I triumphantly got to the end of the process to find the “continue” button, didn’t do as promised and I staunchly sat on the same page without achieving a crumpet.
    Deciding on a different tack, I clicked on the protection icon on my desktop and hit the “subscribe” button. This helpfully brought up a website extolling the virtues of the product, and urging me to subscribe for one or two years. Feeling largesse pouring out of my pores, I hit the two-year button.
    Up popped a window, a computer version of the irritating little man on infomercials yelling “wait, there’s more”, it urged me to upgrade to a new beaut go faster better version for a mere $11 more, complete with a helpful “Yes, upgrade me” button, alongside a “no, keep my order as it is” button. Hitting the latter, guess what happened?
    You got it, absolutely nothing. Couldn’t go back, couldn’t go forward, I was again stuck in Norton-Limbo.
    Support – now there’s an idea. Plowing through the frequently asked questions – aka we really don’t want to talk to you, look it up yourself - I finally found a ‘contact us’ section – asking if I wanted phone numbers or a live chat.
    Still feeling relatively cocky, I hit “phone numbers” which came up with – wait for it – absolutely nothing. Rapidly following up with “chat now”, I got - you got it – absolutely nothing. My cockiness was receding exponentially with the rise in my blood pressure.
    I did find a phone number for something else on the website so tried it and landed myself in the Philippines only to be transferred via excruciating on-hold music to somewhere else in the Philippines – I presume the next desk – where I got to speak to a living breathing person. OK, whose English wasn’t wonderful, but at least it ingested oxygen.
    Page 2 of 2 - Sure enough, some one hour, 15 minutes later I managed to update my subscription and my computer is once again safe.
    Welcome to the wonderful world of technology.
    Annie Dear lives in Lee’s Summit. Email her at anniedearkc@hotmail.com.
     

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