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Examiner
  • Annie Dear: An affixionado, I'm not

  • Put me in a kitchen with a dozen ingredients, and I’m all over it like a rash. I will cook up a storm, and for the most part the result will not only be edible, but will be positively scrumptious. And if it isn’t, hey, there’s always take out. Whilst I’m no Julia Child, Gordon Ramsey or Wolfgang Puck, I can whip up something in the meal department which doesn’t put me to shame.

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  • Put me in a kitchen with a dozen ingredients, and I’m all over it like a rash. I will cook up a storm, and for the most part the result will not only be edible, but will be positively scrumptious. And if it isn’t, hey, there’s always take out. Whilst I’m no Julia Child, Gordon Ramsey or Wolfgang Puck, I can whip up something in the meal department which doesn’t put me to shame.
    Now, cast your minds back a few weeks to the sad tale of our friend, our Little Hot Tamale, down near Springfield. Things happen in threes, and she’s now fully paid up.
    First, quite inadvertently, her husband set fire briefly to the kitchen making popcorn. Then, their cute as a button little dog was savaged by the neighbor’s dogs – neighbors who, by the way, to bring you up to date on that one, have offered to pay one third of the vet bill. I’m wondering what part of “you are responsible”, and “100 percent” they don’t understand.
    But I digress. The third part of her trifecta was the occasion upon which she broke her wrist. She was in a splint for a week, then a cast for five weeks, and now back in a splint for six more weeks. Ugh, it sucks to get hurt, doesn’t it?
    So, to en-cheer her, I told her I would decorate her candy-pink cast. This is where brain detached from logic and/or reality.
    I bought all manner of sparkly pink things to create a decorative watch on her cast. Superglue I thought would be a sensible addition, as I wasn’t at all sure how well my glitz would adhere to the bright pink gauze covering the plaster.
    Well, I am here to tell you, glitz and bright pink gauze do not care a whit about the adhering properties of superglue.
    On the other hand, the kitchen table, the paper towels, and indeed my fingers did. I had sparkle-arkly things literally everywhere, and I suddenly realized the superglue was far more interested in flesh than anything else.
    Deciding to quit while I was even remotely ahead, I downed tools as best I could given that I was sticking to the world, and thought a little soak in acetone would fix the problem. But I didn’t want to upset my nail polish as of course you don’t, so I moistened five cotton balls with acetone and planted the pads of my fingers thereupon.
    Do you know what happens to softened superglue? That’s right. It glues to the next object, that being cotton balls - to my fingers.
    Now I have glitter AND cotton balls stuck firmly to my fingers, and I am laughing so hard, pant wetting is a real threat.
    Page 2 of 2 - You know some people just shouldn’t be allowed out with adult supervision. And I will freely admit hobbies relating to craft definitely put me in that category.
    Annie Dear lives in Lee’s Summit. Email her at anniedearkc @hotmail.com.
     
     

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