Annie Dear The Independent AussieIt’s amazing what you can do when you think other than in a linear fashion. Like my mother before me, I have genetically been gifted her bad back. The light bulb went on over my head the other day. Ka-ching it went – or was it Ka-glow? Could it be that my aching back is in part caused by my “office” chair at home? Now some 18 years old, I installed said chair at my desk, and now realize it’s really got nothing to do with actual work. Actual work involves slaving over a hot keyboard, or a set of books. My chair, therefore, is an “executive” chair. Executives, I’m sure, do lots and lots of work, but can often be seen tilting back in their comfy leather high-back chair, which is really perfectly designed for this activity. After all, when you’re having a good tilt, you don’t want your chair poking you in the back, you want it to cradle you, comforting you in a relaxing slump. This is not ideal for crashing away on a typewriter, I realized. True to form, I leapt to my computer to find an “ergonomic” typist chair, and two days later it arrived. I knew there was some assembly required, but I had watched the video taking me through each step of assembly, so I was smug in the belief this was going to be a piece of cake. Sir, naturally, on seeing my chair ominously shaped like a box, I would have to say, was rather sneeringly derisive. “Why didn’t you just call The Guy?” he muttered with a curled lip, and then left the room. Assuring him as he retreated that I was up to the job and didn’t want to spend the additional $50 for “expert assembly,” I readied myself for the task. Twenty-two screws – no worries. The five-star base piece was not as shown on the video however, it was a one-star bit with five bits which had to attach with the use of 10 screws. I can do this. I did in fact do this, with the exception of two holes which frankly would not align, and I came to the famous Annie Dear conclusion that near enough was good enough. Great. Onto the affixing of the arms to the back. Proving a tad tricky as there was nothing but a whole bunch of curvy bits which would give me no even-keel to achieve the installation of four screws, I nearly gave up, but remembering Sir’s sneer, I soldiered on. Attach base mechanism to bottom of chair. Can do, will do, no probs. Now attach back and arms to base. Here we achieved screeching haltdom. Looking at my tools I realized there were 22mm and 25mm screws. Do you know what 3mm looks like? Just 0.11 of an inch. Harrumph. I’d evidently used a wrong screw somewhere. Retracing my steps for I think the 47th time, I found the little bugger and finally – voila! – I have a chair. Not exactly the 20 minutes shown on the video, some 3 ½ hours later I was done – with an added bonus! Thinking how horribly humid it’s been lately, I’d lost 25 pounds in the process! Once I mop up the sweat pooled in my glasses, I’ll be able to see to type. Winner, winner! Annie Dear lives in Lee’s Summit. Email her at anniedear@icloud.com.
