I've realized there recently was a combination of events which created the Perfect Storm – well, probably a stormette, maybe a mini-tempest – but perfect in any case.
First, we had the 18-month run up – was it only that short? – to the 2016 Presidential Elections. Then once that was over, we launched ourselves directly into Thanksgiving and thence into Christmas and full-throttle Holiday mode.
So what, I hear some of my devoted readers mutter into their cornflakes.
Well, I will tell you dear hearts.
Take television for example. Not only did we have the interminable political deluge from the federal point of view, but living where we do, we also got the double whammy of both Kansas and Missouri hopefuls. My television watching is far less than my television listening, and as I would ready myself for work in the mornings I would hear something about this guy being a veteran, a family man and possibly related to Mother Teresa, only to hear the next commercial advising me that he never served a minute, cheats on his wife, and is Satan's spawn. No wonder we suffered overload.
Just as we get to the end of all that, we're then hit with a million different ways to prepare turkey, first-aid advice for pumpkin carvers – and speaking of pumpkin – a thousand food and beverage ideas using pumpkin as a base. It's all so silly – you guys don't even eat pumpkin, and yet you're prepared to swallow it down in a scone, washed down with it in coffee, and no doubt adding it to your bubble bath for that soft, silky slightly orange glow.
We then immediately leap into Christmas advertising – OK, OK – Holiday advertising if you want to be picky. After all, how many Mercedes, Lexus or Beemers would you like to order for the family?
Accompanying all of this, we hit Fall smack-dab in the middle of it all, thus forcing voters to stand out in the cold, only for them to then hit the stores with force to satisfy the holiday season buying spree – all of course in establishments that feel that while 72 degrees was perfectly acceptable in summer, 97 is far better when it's chilly outside.
So, I've come up with a perfect solution – you just knew I would.
When I was a kid and faced with a laundry list of chores, Mum would exhort me to just get on with it, get it all done, and then it would be over.
Well, taking this wise woman's advice, I advocate that Election Day be moved to April 15. I mean if you're going to have a rotten day, why not get it all over at once? Tax Day, voting – and while you're at it, you could schedule your annual medical and dental checkups – and then, voila.
It would all be over, leaving you nothing more than to look forward to summer.
I'll get a petition going and will get back to you....
Annie Dear lives in Lee’s Summit. Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.