Winter is hanging around like a bad hairdo. Just because the calendar says its two weeks until spring means nothing to me. We hunted Easter eggs in the snow last year.
The older I get the more I dislike being cold. The snow is pretty on the first snowfall, and after that it’s just a nuisance. I know I sound like a grumpy ol’ woman because I am. Being cooped up in the house, and sometimes literally, because of snow, it’s gone beyond cabin fever, I need to get outside soon or I’m going to start bringing more dirt inside than what’s already being tracked in from our boots.
There have been far worse winters, but for some reason I’ve had it with the white stuff and freezing temperatures. Between worrying whether the grandkids are going to school or not, who’s driving where, did they get there safely or trying to reschedule meetings/family functions, warmer weather just can’t get here soon enough. They say you lose your patience as you get older and from my attitude lately, I believe it to be true. Then again, his new favorite saying is, I’m madly menopausal.
I have learned some life lessons during this cold snap, which probably would never have happened if I hadn’t been snowed in for days at a time.
Lesson number one: Bread and milk shouldn’t be the only staple to be purchased when making a run to the grocery store before the snowmageddon. Too much milk, over the age of 50, causes gas.
Lesson number two: If you slip and fall on the ice, no matter how much padding you have from the layers of clothes and coat, and body fat, it’s still going to hurt, and nearly impossible to get back up.
Lesson number three: It’s a mistake to think I was never going to need those “fat” clothes again since eating seems to be my new pastime after being stuck in the house for days at a time. I no longer have the strength or stamina to suck it and get the jeans buttoned at the same time.
Lesson number four: I will only buy stretch elastic waist jeans going forward.
Lesson number five: There’s no amount of moisturizer to make my legs look less dry. It’s best to not look at them until mowing season.
Lesson number six: I’m sorry I made fun of my dad when he was obsessed with watching the birds, especially during the winter months. I get it now.
Lesson number seven: Blaming the potholes for the tires being out of alignment sounds better than I hit a curb.
Lesson number eight: Binge watching Netflex shows will make it difficult to get up out of the chair.
Lesson number nine: Cleaning out one closet just makes the other ones look really messy.
Lesson number ten: I’m too old to learn a lesson. I’m just going to be grumpy.
Sandy Turner lives in Independence. Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.