I would like to categorically state right up front here that I don’t have the slightest problem if you’re male, female, gay, trans-, bi- or unsure. I will treat you nicely, as we human beings should, and I would hope that you will return the favor.

There have been a couple of news items of late, however, with which I have to seriously question.

First of all, if you choose to switch your gender, knock yourself out, go for it, and I hope you are happy with the results. However, if you switch please keep in mind that if you now have to take estrogen to balance out your testosterone, this does not give you leave to compete in women’s sports.

I know there are ladies out there who will shout me down, but believe me I can bellow with the best. It is a fact that men are faster, can throw harder, can outdrive, outswim and outrun the majority of females, and having the odd surgical nip and tuck doesn’t make any difference. In the sporting world, you’re still a guy and I think it’s awfully unfair of you to claim sexual bias if the authorities try to preclude you from competing in a sport to which you are not entitled to enter.

And of course, the reverse applies. Girls, if you decide to change from a Ms. to a Mr., it doesn’t mean that you won’t get absolutely clobbered on the football field, the baseball diamond or the cricket pitch, no matter how deep your voice gets or how fast your beard grows.

It’s just part of life with which you will have to sensibly deal, so please quit bleating about it.

Now, in the tsunami-like tide of politically correct hogwash, we’re now going to have a female James Bond. Now I know spies come in all flavors, but come on, kids. James Bond is James Bond – not Jamie Bond or Jamesina Bond. It’s Bond, James Bond. I can hear Ian Fleming positively thrashing around in his grave, such an enormously grave disservice have the producers of late done to his most famous character.

James is sexy and daring, witty and urbane, handsome as sin, and drinks martinis – shaken, not stirred. He does not play Texas Hold-em, he plays baccarat. He drives an Aston-Martin. He is something women would like to drool over, and men would like to emulate. He is magnificently politically incorrect, and shouldn’t be messed with.

Since Pierce Brosnan, the Bond franchise hasn’t just gone off the rails, it’s flung itself over a cliff and threatens to implode. I’ve even heard the franchise is folding after this new movie, and it saddens me to say I’m not surprised.

What next, I hear you cry. Is Wonder Woman going to be played by Chris Hemsworth? Is Donald Duck pitching to play Minnie Mouse? Is Foghorn Leghorn going to jump ship and become Foghorna Leghorn?

I say, nay, nay.

Leave our icons alone, Hollywood, I beg you. They became icons for really solid reasons, and if you’re too arrogant to see that, well, more fool you.

Annie Dear lives in Lee’s Summit. Email her at anniedearkc@hotmail.com.