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Sandy Turner: I’m not a winner

Staff Writer
The Examiner
The Examiner

People are playing the lottery, during this pandemic, like their stimulus money is burning a hole in their pocket. I wish them good luck, although I’m not “buying” into it.

It's not because I'm against gambling or any of the get-rich-quick schemes. It's simply because I’d be afraid who I might turn into if I were to instantly become a millionaire. Sure I would pay off my bills, quit my job, move into a new house and then what? Start wondering if Kansas is as flat as a pancake.

When I came home from work today there were four lottery tickets lying on the table. Two for me, two for the hubby. He says we're going to try to win some money and then all of our problems would be solved. Really? Like it would cure COVID or put us in a time warp and 2020 would be over? Besides, I’m comfortable being in this tax bracket. I don’t need any more complications in my life.

I like the challenge of seeing if my money will outlast the month. How boring would it be if anything and everything you wanted was always available? Finding a $5 shirt on the bargain rack wouldn't mean a thing. Being excited about buying a new couch after saving for six months ... not the thrill it used to be.

How weird would the relatives be if you were running amok with money coming out your ears? Would every little favor they do for you become a reason to become suspicious they wanted to be paid? If money was plentiful, decisions wouldn't be as fun. No need for decisions as you could have your pick, instead of being picky.

Do wealthy people only listen to classical, instrumental, no-words type of music because it's hard to relate to the country tunes of losing your job, truck, dog or house whenever you have the money to buy back whatever you may lose. If you won millions, going to garage sales would be out of the daily schedule. What would you be looking for in other people's junk, if you could buy a new one?

Finding a 20-dollar bill in your jeans back pocket wouldn't be a big deal. Forget about counting change to buy lunch or gas to get to work. Digging through the bottom of your purse and getting giggly over finding two quarters would seem repulsive.

Outdoor fun like free concerts in the park, tailgating and camping would become indoor activities like noontime tea, lunches at the club and ballroom dancing. There would be no excuse for wearing socks with holes, T-shirts with stains or cut-off jeans. “The Beverly Hillbillies” made it look easy to fit in, dressed in their regular get-up, but I'm sure it wouldn't be long before you'd be expected to walk the walk and talk the talk.

I checked the tickets. Thank goodness we didn't win.

Sandy Turner lives in Independence. Email her at sandydownhome@hotmail.com.