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Wonders of the age fall a bit short

The Examiner

Having seen the launch of the latest spacecraft, and watch it hurtle its way at a kazillion miles an hour to hook up to the space station, dump off an astronaut or two and pick up those returning (possibly – I really don’t know, but I figure that’s what is happening), all without the benefit of GPS or even Madge’s much loved and used space map, a couple of things absolutely stagger me as a relative newcomer to your fair shores.

Annie Dear

If NASA can do all of this, why hasn’t America come up with a sure, safe and secure election system? Now relax, I know better than to launch into a full political discussion, although I’m quite happy to do that privately with you through email. So, back to my staggeration.

The other one – along the line of "build a better mousetrap" – why hasn’t someone come up with a mold-repelling grout for the shower?

We had a new shower installed a couple of years ago – and despite the fact it was not the one we chose, it didn’t have the fittings we picked, or the promised grunge-free shower doors, and the guy forgot to seal off the shower drain so the room underneath flooded (oh that’s a whole other story), it’s worked relatively well.

See – ever the optimist!

But like all previous showers, the grout seems to send out an open invitation to all mold party-goers, and they romp in for the bathroom equivalent of a kegger.

I have tried every product available in the grocery store, and while it might zot the spores just fronting up to the grouty front door, they did nothing to get rid of the now sofa comatose layabouts who managed to worm their way into the equivalent of the tiled kitchen.

Off to the internet I’ve been. I’ve tried vinegar.  Result? Bathroom smelt like an underachieving salad dressing. I’ve tried a paste of baking soda. Result?  A paste which was a pain in the bum to remove – but remove it I did with nary a trace of those I wished to evict.

Back to the internet. Ah ha, I cried! Industrial strength mold get-ridder-of. Coming in bottles of one gallon or 32 ounces, I opted for the smaller variety – and wouldn’t you know it, the gallon showed up anyway.

Reading the safety instructions, I’m sure working in a nuclear plant required fewer PPEs such were the dire warnings. I had to wear protective clothing, which I will have to confess I’m a little short of. 

Not wishing to zap any clothing with toxic and possibly destructive liquid, I opted for the only thing left open to me.

Nakedness seemed the only solution, figuring my skin’s been around a long time and if I burst into flames, I was right there in the shower anyway.

Finally figuring out how to pump the noxious stuff out of the ton-weighing bottle, I went to town. My no-scrub, you beaut mold killer would do the trick.

Result? Nup. Oh, it got rid of the rotters now loitering in the hallway, but never got to the ones in the kitchen.

Come on bright sparks – invent away!  Safe elections and mold-repelling grout – snap to it!

Having seen the launch of the latest spacecraft, and watch it hurtle its way at a kazillion miles an hour to hook up to the space station, dump off an astronaut or two and pick up those returning (possibly  - I really don’t know, but I figure that’s what is happening) – all without the benefit of GPS or even Madge’s much loved and used space map, a couple of things absolutely stagger me as a relative newcomer to your fair shores.

If NASA can do all of this, why hasn’t America come up with a sure, safe and secure election system?  Now relax, I know better than to launch into a full political discussion, although I’m quite happy to do that privately with you through email.  So, back to my staggeration.

The other one – along the line of ‘build a better mousetrap’ – why hasn’t someone come up with a mold repelling grout for the shower?

We had a new shower installed a couple of years ago – and despite the fact it was not the one we chose, it didn’t have the fittings we picked, or the promised grunge free shower doors, and the guy forgot to seal off the shower drain so the room underneath flooded (oh that’s a whole other story), it’s worked relatively well.

See – ever the optimist!

But like all previous showers, the grout seems to send out an open invitation to all mold party-goers and they romp in for the bathroom equivalent of a kegger.

I have tried every product available in the grocery store, and while it might zot the spores just fronting up to the grouty front door, they did nothing to get rid of the now sofa comatose layabouts who managed to worm their way into the equivalent of the tiled kitchen.

Off to the internet I’ve been.  I’ve tried vinegar.  Result?  Bathroom smelt like an underachieving salad dressing.  I’ve tried a paste of baking soda.  Result?  A paste which was a pain in the bum to remove – but remove it I did with nary a trace of those I wished to evict.

Back to the internet.  Ah ha, I cried!  Industrial strength mold get-ridder-of.  Coming in bottles of 1 gallon or 32 ounces, I opted for the smaller variety – and wouldn’t you know it, the gallon showed up anyway.

Reading the safety instructions, I’m sure working in a nuclear plant required less PPEs such were the dire warnings.  I had to wear protective clothing, which I will have to confess I’m a little short of. 

Not wishing to zap any clothing with toxic and possibly destructive liquid, I opted for the only thing left open to me.

Nakedness seemed the only solution, figuring my skin’s been around a long time and if I burst into flames, I was right there in the shower anyway.

Finally figuring out how to pump the noxious stuff out of the ton-weighing bottle, I went to town.  My no-scrub, you beaut mold killer would do the trick.

Result?  Nup.  Oh, it got rid of the rotters now loitering in the hallway, but never got to the ones in the kitchen.

Come on bright sparks – invent away!  Safe elections and mold-repelling grout – snap to it!

Annie Dear lives in Lee’s Summit. Email her at anniedear@icloud.com.