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High rollers and their big dreams kicker: The Independent Aussie

The Examiner

Happy Australia Day for yesterday dear readers – the land of my birth, which I hold very dear to my heart.

That out of the way, are we all thrilled to bits, tickled and generally euphoric over our fabulous football team? Yes, the Chiefs pulled off a magnificent win over the weekend to secure its spot in the Super Bowl.

Annie Dear

How different it will be this year though, with all the COVID restrictions. Anheuser-Busch, which brings Budweiser to you, has decided to pull all of its commercials and donate the money to help raise awareness of the benefits of getting the coronavirus vaccine.

While a laudable effort, I, for one, will be sorry there’ll be no Clydesdales or cute Dalmatians in my future.

However, I always have the option of getting silly and going to the game itself, now can’t I.

Let me see.

The cheapest ticket is $8,550, but the catch is I have to buy four tickets.  Oh, and there’s an additional fee of 18% thrown in – oh, and wait, there’s a minimum of $150 to park.  So, thus far, I have totted up the princely sum of $40,496. Mmmmm – might have to rethink this one.

If I only want two tickets, that’ll run me $9,450 a piece, plus the fee and parking – so I would need to shell out $22,417, which I’m afraid I’m just a tiny bit short of at the moment.

But there’s always a bright side – I would receive a gift certificate to use at the concession stand. Unfortunately it doesn’t divulge the value thereof.

Did I mention the seats would be in section 318 in the upper level corner? No doubt behind a bloody great pillar and three and a half miles from the nearest restroom. 

So, I will need to get some pretty high-powered binoculars ($400 odd), plus air fare and hotel which would run me $1,600, and a car, but I could save on parking if I take a Uber.  There’s the ticket!

I suppose I could always go completely berserk and go for the most expensive seats – I’m sure Sir wouldn’t mind if I mortgaged the house.

I would need a minimum of three tickets at $24,301 a pop, plus, of course, the 18% fee – so I’d only need to fork out $86,175 – plus air fare etc. etc. I suppose a hundred grand would cover the lot, really.

But wait, there was no mention of any concession stand gift certificates – well, darn, that’s a deal breaker, I’m afraid.

There is a light at the end of the financial tunnel however. For a mere $100 I can have my photo attached to one of the cardboard cutout figures gracing the stands to keep the stadium COVID-compliant. What a bargain!

But sadly, I didn’t win the $1 billion Powerball the other day, but, Pollyanna-like, I rejoice in the fact I did win $8.

So, dear reader, I would ask that you respect my privacy in this, and allow Sir and me the time to decide how to move forward in this exciting and pivotal moment in time.

Annie Dear lives in Lee’s Summit. Email her at anniedear@icloud.com.