Friends, Romans, countrypersons – enough already kicker: The Independent Aussie
Now, just to be clear, I am not in any way, shape or form making a political statement here. The following is a statement about the general idiocy of politics, not about either party. I am Annie Dear, and I endorse this message.
So, the first act of the 2021 Congress was to propose that anything uttered within its hallowed walls must not contain any gender-specific words – you know, like the ones we’ve lived with without being mortally wounded all our lives.
Yes, dear friends, henceforth he, she, woman, man, mother, father, sister, brother, and all the rest of them – they’re all banned in the House.
Now how moronically stupid is this? As if Congress doesn’t have a whole world of problems to tackle, like, oh I don’t know, irritating stuff like COVID, relief to hurting Americans, stemming the tide of foreign countries pushing themselves into this country, providing jobs for citizens – I could go on and on.
But no, we have to worry about hurting someone’s feelings first. Oh, come on now. Let’s get real people.
I suppose we will have to adjust nursery rhymes and our own speech accordingly:
“Height-challenged Muffet person, sat on its tuffet, eating its curds and whey. Along came a spider and sat down in the general vicinity of the aforementioned Muffet person, and frightened height-challenged Muffet person away.”
“This youth-challenged person, it played one, it played knick-knack on my thumb, with a knick-knack paddywhack give a dog a bone, this youth-challenged person came rolling home.”
“The ruler was on the counting house, counting out its money, the other ruler was in the parlor eating bread and honey, the person of lower rank of the serving class was in the garden hanging out the clothes, when down came a blackbird and pecked off its nose.”
Just imagine having to call 911 in a future emergency.
“911, what is your emergency?”\
“My grandperson fell and I think it broke its hip."
Or “there is a person too short for its height attacking another person who doesn’t possess the same, shall we say, tackle as the first person."
Or how about “there’s a person running down Main Street, stark naked."
“Can you describe this person, dear person?”
“Well, let me put it this way in a politically correct manner. The bottom half is wiggling more than the top half – will that do?”
What a load of cobblers. I for one am tired of paying my hard-earned money to people with more bull$%^& than sense. I am tired of the he said/she said – oh, sorry! I mean person said/person said – waste of time perpetrated by our elected officials.
Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could all thumb our noses in a meaningful manner and refuse to pay any taxes until these money-and power-hungry idiots shape up?
Oh wait. Hold on. There has been a precedent set, ladies and gentlemen – sorry! People and people.
I believe it was called the Revolution. I don’t recommend its repetition.
I would therefore ask politicians to put aside their ideological differences and ask "what would the majority of Americans do?"
I think they’ll find that the answer will be positively miles away from what the pols are actually doing.
Annie Dear lives in Lee’s Summit. Email her at email@example.com.