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The Examiner

Have you ever thought about personality traits?

I often find myself chuckling away, muttering “you are such a Virgo” to myself. Do I believe in astrology? Kinda, sorta. But I have to believe there must be something in it to find myself muttering about it, now don’t I?

Annie Dear

There I was at the dishwasher the other day. As an aside, in an effort to, Virgo-like, create peace and harmony in our household, I made a deal with Sir a year ago. If he took care of the cat litter box, I would do the dishes in perpetuity – unless of course, I cook, in which case the cooker hands over the dishes to the cookee. I’m not quite sure who got the better end of the pineapple, but secretly – pssst don’t tell Sir – I did.

Meanwhile, back at the dishwasher. Being the profoundly Virgoan Virgo, I have a system for stacking the dishwasher – specifically the cutlery. Knives go in this bit, forks in another, and so on. 

I am married to an Aquarian. “If they were white sheep, they’d dye their wool black just to prove a point," I read somewhere. Therefore, when Sir has to load the dishwasher, I’m now convinced he sees all the flatware behaving itself beautifully, and so decided that this particular teaspoon must go in with the knives to see how the other half lives.  The knife now has to commune with the forks, as the forks quite frankly have been having all the fun.

Resigned to this trait, I, chuckling, rearrange away until I know I can go to sleep happy in the knowledge that everything is where it should be.

I am a demon at organizing – when I set my mind to it. “Virgos like working on busy little behind-the-scenes tasks that make life run more smoothly for everyone.” I have an electronic filing system at the office that would win gold at an Office Olympics – I can find anything before you’ve even finished asking for it. At home? Not so much.

Home does not afford the ability to electronically deal with physical mess. Oh, occasionally I have a spurt of enthusiasm and rearrange a cupboard. But rarely. 

How does my very own Aquarian deal with filing and messes. Well, the bottom line is – he doesn’t. It’s a little like his peripheral vision – or the lack thereof. If it’s not right in front of him, he largely ignores it. When it gets to the point that he can no longer ostrich his way through the problem, he will speak of it.

Why, just the other day he intoned “gee, this stove top is filthy,” at which point he left the room.

What did this Virgo do? Well, she fumed, naturally taking the comment as a personal slur, which of course it wasn’t. My Aquarian was just passing comment, neither demanding nor expecting a reaction from me.

So, naturally, I attacked the stovetop – in a typical Virgoan fashion, until it could’ve been sold at the showroom as a new one – and then I made the fatal mistake of saying “it’s all right – the @#$%^ kitchen #$#$%^%^ fairy took care of it."

Aquarians, I have learnt over these past 21 years, do not like to be criticized.

Boy howdy. Mount Vesuvius eruptions would have been less spectacular than the effect of Sir’s hurt feelers.

Sheesh. 

Annie Dear lives in Lee’s Summit. Email her at anniedear@icloud.com.