Extreme problems demand extreme solutions

Annie Dear
The Independent Aussie
Annie Dear

Only three more sleeps dear reader, and Santa will be rocketing down your chimneys. I hope you have a joyful day. 

Onto the more mundane, however. If you recall, several years ago we had a new shower put in, and, typical me – not thinking things through – opted for clear glass shower doors. 

Now, in my defense, I wasn’t aware at the time that our water was so hard it’s basically a solid – leading to the result that over time the very sexy, gorgeous clear glass doors have become somewhat sullied by hard water stains. 

We have a wonderful gal, Kara, who comes once a month to do a more perfect cleaning than I will ever achieve, and I fear the shower doors have left her a tad tearful from time to time. To help out, I’ve tried pretty much every product known to man to get rid of the streaks. 

I am not in any way, shape or form in the obsessive-compulsive club. Near enough is good enough in my book, but I’m afraid these doors bring out the Virgo in me, and I’ve made it my Holy Grail to lick the problem. Mmmm, note to self, you haven’t tried spit yet – add that to the list. 

My latest foray into the science of cleaning has had me using a product I use on our glass stove top. Works really well there, why not the shower doors, I asked myself. 

I am pleased to report It has certainly made a difference, and my star sign is quietly giving me a golf clap for my achievement. 

Now if I can only word a letter to Kara for the next time she comes ,,, 

“Dear Kara: 

I think I’ve partially solved the shower door conundrum. First, wet a sponge and then liberally spread the Bar Keeper’s Friend I left for you in the bathroom all over the inside of the doors. 

This needs to dry, so you could use the time to vacuum, etc., leaving the shower doors to the end. 

Now in order to get the product off the door, you have to use a liberal amount of water, so, just before you’re ready to leave, strip down to bollocking naked, and use the hand-held shower spray and scrub the doors of their white film. 

To make up for your trouble, I’ve also left you some horribly expensive but luxurious shower gel, Parisian shampoo, a loofah made of the finest yak hair, a bottle of Moët Chandon to enjoy while you sit on the shower seat, and a bath towel spun by a quarter of a million industrious silkworms so you can leave the house squeaky clean and ready for a nap after your labors. 

We love you Kara – don’t leave us!’ 

So, a word to the wise. Unless you’ve also asked Santa for a water-softening system, never get clear shower doors. 

Sir thinks I’ve quietly gone stark raving mad and came to the conclusion that he’s wasting his breath – that he will never get back – in trying to un-Virgo me.  He knows when he’s licked. 

Annie Dear lives in Lee’s Summit. Email her at anniedear@icloud.com.