Diane Mack: Half-baked idea just might work

Staff Writer
The Examiner
Camera:   EOSDCS1B        Serial #: K600-A336Width:    3060Height:   2036Date:  7/18/02Time:   12:52:31DCS4XX ImageFW Ver:   051998          TIFF ImageLook:   Portrait----------------------Counter:    [ 7]ISO:        80  Aperture:   F6.7Shutter:    60  Exposure:   M   Exp Comp:    0.0Meter area: SpotFlash sync: NoneFlash comp:  0.0Drive mode: SingFocus mode: One Lens (mm):  0080

I’ve been trying to get a street sign or speed bump to slow the traffic down on our street.

It’s a daily worry with a special-needs daughter. These darn high school kids drive too fast.

I’ve learned street signs, or bumps, are a lengthy process.

Anyway, last Sunday about 9:30 a.m., Jeremy called to say they were coming to visit. I keep a ham in the frig for such occasions.

I grabbed the ham, ripped the plastic off and tossed it a pan. After that, I threw eight baking potatoes into a big pot of water to boil. While the potatoes were boiling, I warmed four cans of green beans. I then cut radishes, carrots, celery, red cabbage and lettuce into a salad.

When the potatoes were cooked just right, I peeled them, sliced them, cut up onions, made thickening, added a few spices and dumped the scalloped potatoes mixture into a pan. I shoved the potatoes into the oven with the ham.

My phone dinged. The kids were on their way.

How I love little Addie and Ella.

Before the girls were born, I had 16 grandkids, living out of state, more than a thousand miles away. I maybe saw them once a year, if I was lucky.

Not with Addie and Ella. They are just 15 minutes down the road.

I also threw some crescent rolls onto a cookie sheet.

I still needed a dessert. So I ran to the basement and grabbed a brownie mix.

It was one of those “stir 50 times and add three eggs for cake-like brownies.”

I added extra chocolate chips, dumped the brownie into a pan, pulled out the potatoes and ham and shoved the brownie in the oven at 350 for 27 minutes. Whew!

Boy, did the ham smell good when the kids came in the door. Plus the smell of brownie wafted in the air.

The girls helped me set the table and fill the cups. The brownie buzzed. Finally, everything was ready.

Well, maybe . . .

Addie said the prayers. All was going well, until we cut into the brownie. The brownie was a little tough.

Really, who could mess up a boxed brownie mix?

I thought I should try a small piece. Oh my goodness, it like I was chewing on a piece of tar.

The girls were so excited for grandma’s brownie.

I just couldn’t give the brownie to them the way it was. So I searched the freezer for ice cream or whipped cream, and found a generic Cool Whip.

By this time, the girls were crying, so I gave them a small brownie, with the cool whip.

Addie said, “Nasty, grandma.” Ella spit hers out.

I was so embarrassed when the rest of the family tried it. Someone said, “I think I broke a tooth”.

I quickly hid the brownie in the microwave and gave the kids Creamsicles.

The next morning, after I moved the trashcans to the end of the driveway, I remembered the dreaded brownie in the microwave.

I raced up the front steps, grabbed the brownie and dumped it from the pan into the trashcan.

I hopped in the car, tossed the pan into my back seat, and backed out of the driveway.

Unbeknownst to me, the trash men had tossed the brownie back onto the driveway. Apparently, they thought the brownie was a piece of asphalt.

And I ran over it. It nearly flattened my tired. I was frustrated. I got out, pitched the brownie into the street and then drove off.

You know that speed bump, I needed to slow the traffic on our street?

I got one.

Diane Mack is coordinator of Putting Families First, Jackson County's Family Week Foundation. Email her at Director@jacksoncountyfamilyweek.org.