The perils of pandemic Pandemonium

Annie Dear
The Independent Aussie
Annie Dear

Whom to believe? What to believe?

It’d be so nice to get a definitive, non-politically biased answer wouldn’t it?

Vaccinated? You must wear a mask. You don’t need a mask. Unvaccinated? No need to worry, COVID probably won’t kill you, but then again it might. You don’t need a mask if you riot, but you do need one to go to church. You do need one in a restaurant, but you can take it off when you’re seated.

I had to laugh yesterday. Off I went for a routine check-up at the dentist. I had to call from the car and wait to be told I could come in – fully masked (and vaccinated), have my temperature taken, asked all the usual COVID questions and then ushered to my chair, where, guess what? Of course – you’re way ahead of me – I had to take my mask off.

It’s all so silly sometimes, and yet constantly bewildering.

My darling daughter and husband are back into lockdown in Sydney where there’s been a spike in COVID cases. Compared to the U.S., this “spike” would represent a pimple on a pumpkin, but keep in mind we’ve only got just shy of 26 million people, so we just can’t afford to lose too many people to this insidious virus.

And then, of course, you get the Loony Toons coming out of the woodwork.

A nurse in Ohio hit the news this past weekend claiming the vaccine made her magnetic. Now I know a magnetic personality is something to which one should aspire, but I feel this takes it just a tad too far. In addressing some august body of somebodies, she went to demonstrate the truth of her claim, by slapping an aluminum key to her neck.

I guess she missed that particular science class, as that particular metal doesn’t stick to magnets, no matter how thrilling your personality may be.

Oh and then more conspiracy theorists abound. According to the polls – and we know just how accurate they are – one in five unvaccinated Americans believe the U.S. government is using it to implant microchips into we unsuspecting subjects. Some even believe Bill Gates is behind it all. I would imagine old Bill has enough on his plate right now and probably doesn’t have the time for this contemplation, he of course having to decide whether he or Melinda gets the plate, and what it will cost.

If the government is indeed doing this, Sir and I would be extremely disappointing subjects. “Would you look at that, Sir three-putted again?  Go get lessons!” or “Oh snore, Annie’s reading – again!”  Nothing to see here, let’s move along.

I know, this being a new virus perpetrated on us all, it’s a bit of a crap shoot to be definite about anything, and that the scientists and medical professionals can only give us their best shots at working out how to avoid catching the blessed thing.

But the swings and roundabouts we’re being subjected to – some honest and up front, some politically motivated – lead to a problem.

Remember back in school when a teacher would have it out for you and nothing you could do was right? That’s what we’re facing now – and, like then, the end result is “oh stuff it, why should I try?”

Annie Dear lives in Lee’s Summit. Email her at anniedear@icloud.com.