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Annie Dear: When it’s time to call 'the guys'

Staff Writer
The Examiner
The Examiner

We’ve had a weekend of “the guys.”

As you know, Sir and I were never blessed with the gene which allows us to identify more than the working knowledge of the correct end of a hammer or screwdriver to use, and so with various bits and pieces around the house needing attention, we had to call “the guy.”

In this instance, two of them. One plumber and one appliance fixer-upperer. “Get out the checkbook, Hilda, they’re a-comin’!”

The plumbing department was an easy fix – for a plumber, that is – so James from B&L was in and out like a veritable ninja, while lightening our bank account with charm and efficiency.

As far as the appliances were concerned, Andy from Arrowhead Appliance arrived in good humor, and proceeded to pull out the stove. The last time this happened was when we bought the new stove, so we’re talking probably a good seven years or so of God alone knows what thereunder and behind.

A nest of spiders was one. Oh joy. These were dispatched in a drenching raid of, well, Raid, and the resultant corpses and webs dispatched with brutal competence.

I had often wondered where the pussy cats managed to hide their toys. Nine toy mice later, I became educated. Heaven knows where all the others are.

So ultimately the stove was fixed, and now onto the dishwasher, which when activated had taken on a coronavirus like wheeze that had become pretty alarming.

Turning the water off at the valve under the sink, Andy, now flat on his tummy on the floor fiddling with dishwashery respiratory problems, unhooked the water line. A minor technical problem thus ensued – the valve under the sink lied and water gushed forth accompanied by Andy’s plea to turn it off at the mains. Thankfully, Sir was home with me and like the good lieutenant he is, sent himself down to the basement – I wouldn’t have had a clue where it was.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, I’m watching Andy valiantly battle the great flood, hearing his odd shriek as he mentioned – as casually as the poor man could – that the water was HOT. This happily coincided with Sir’s turning off the thing in the basement and a modicum of peace was restored.

Andy rather drippingly, but happily, went on with his job, but I will say I had to stifle a bit of a chuckle as I mentally saw him as a cross between the Dutch boy with his finger in the dyke to save Holland, and the captain of the Titanic trying to plug the hole the iceberg had caused.

I believe there’s a new scam going on where you call for “a guy,” and the company you’re dealing with actually has no “guys,” but on-sells your request to real companies, of course having relieved you of the “service call charge” first. If no one wants the job, you are in somewhat of a pickle. So a word of warning – never pay for anything up front.

I am pathetically grateful we ended up with two not only nice guys, but two honest and trustworthy ones. I’d recommend my guys thoroughly.

Annie Dear lives in Lee’s Summit. Email her at anniedear@icloud.com.