I am not talking about snake-oil salesmen when I say we have low-life snakes around in the spring; I am talking about the real thing.

“Look before you leap, for snakes among sweet flowers do creep.” – Proverb



I am not talking about snake-oil salesmen when I say we have low-life snakes around in the spring; I am talking about the real thing.

Carnivorous reptiles of the suborder with no external ears and a lack of eyelids that can dislocate their lower jaw in order to swallow prey much larger than their own head.

Shiver.

I think there is one under our porch.

I guess you could say I am not particularly afraid of snakes though, but I do not want to see one slithering under the steps either.

Yes, I understand that it is springtime and snakes are coming out of their winter sleep. From what I remember from my childhood days living in the country, snakes spend the winter hibernating just under the frost line. When the temperature warms up, out they come.

And, it seems that everyone has a snake story in the spring. Everyone has a tale of these legless low-to-the-ground critters that can scare us silly.

Snakes in trees, snakes under rocks, snakes in the house. Hollywood even made a movie titled “Snakes on a Plane.”

But snakes in a car?

That, too, apparently. My niece-in-law recently discovered some black snakes under the frame of their car. Apparently, the snakes hitched a ride to town with her husband and then rode back with him.

He didn’t mind much. She did and went to find the gun.

But in defense of snakes, they do eat mice and rats, especially black snakes, and that is a good thing. However, if you have a mouse in the house in the attic or walls, a black snake can find a hole and have lunch there.

Sounds creepy indeed but happens all the time.

Additionally, there are those folks who adore these serpentine, Slytherin creatures. They have snakes as household pets and let them out of their cages to snuggle around their necks. You have seen the pictures. 

I saw it happen in real life.

Back in the ’60s, I had a college biology professor who required that everyone handle a snake before they could pass his class. He loved snakes and wanted students to know that they were endearing creatures and nothing to fear. He started passing a big green snake of some variety that I cannot remember around the room. If you did not touch it, you received an “F.” I grabbed it and quickly passed it on to my squeamish neighbor. She dropped the snake and bedlam ensued.

Today, that same professor would be jailed for endangering and abusing the snake. The school would be sued for forcing the students to handle it and causing them to develop ophidiophobia, fear of snakes. A faculty committee would suggest the teacher be fired for his grading policy.

Ross Perot certainly would not agree with this snake-loving professor either and once quipped, “If you see a snake, just kill it – don’t appoint a committee on snakes.”

I am looking for a hoe as we speak and heading to the front porch snake hunting. Please do not form a committee on snakes and send me letters.