I have a confession. I’m a “blurter.” I have always been known to open mouth, insert foot, and worry about it later.

Generally, I get away with it.

I have a confession. I’m a “blurter.” I have always been known to open mouth, insert foot, and worry about it later.
Generally, I get away with it.

Take the other night, for instance. I was playing bridge online with my darling Sir, and one of the opponents typed in “sorry, partner, I fell in love with my hand.” This is commonly caused by seeing honor and glory in your own 13 cards, but failing to take into account the evil which may befall you by your opponents’ 26 cards.

Without thinking I typed in “and he never called, never sent flowers.” Now I know online chat can get distorted or misinterpreted quite easily, but did I think? No – heavens no. There was a pregnant pause, and thankfully the person to whom I’d directed my quip finally got it and I got a hearty lol for it.

Sir and I were out to dinner last week, at a restaurant where we always request a certain server who is a good egg, jolly good fun, and wonderful to be around. Oh, and by the way, an excellent server – one who doesn’t hover beyond tasteful, and one who anticipates our needs without being intrusive. I’m sure it will get to a point where he will espy us coming in and will have the wine opened and poured before we sit down.

Last week he had a shadow in tow. Now this server is a big guy and could easily hide a shadow, but this shadow wasn’t at all shy, so we could immediately tell she was there. Our server introduced her as someone in training, and joshed “this is her third time with me.” Well, quick as a flash, I blurted “and she hasn’t got it right yet?” The server doubled up with laughter, and I could tell, for just a brief moment, that she potentially looked crestfallen – but seeing the reaction around her, realized she’d just been buzzed by an Aussie sense of humor. Got away with it again – I’m a lucky girl.

My most famous blurting was back in Australia many moons ago, where my then-husband was working for a very large multi-national accounting firm, and he had just completed a 12-week course conducted by the How to Win Friends and Influence People type people. The course was designed to make all the firm’s managers better people people, to encourage discourse and interaction and all those good types of touchy-feely things often overlooked.

At the end of the course, the firm put on a very lavish dinner for the graduates and their partners, and there we were, right up front, just beneath the stage.

The head partner stood thereupon, and delivering his speech to the grateful assembled, twisting his hands together, extolling the virtue of this magnificent course making our spouses warm fuzzy and conversational.

“And who, I ask,” he asked in his best pastor’s oily voice,” has benefited most from this course?” he asked, rhetorically as it turned out.

Expecting the crowd to acknowledge that it was we spouses who had reaped untold benefits, I couldn’t help myself.

“Dale Carnegie,” I blurted.

Oops, there went the promotion.

Annie Dear lives in Lee’s Summit. Email her at anniedearkc @hotmail.com.